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Where to start? Well the worst possible thing that could happen in my life has. My father was taken from me. I loved him so much. I just hope he knows that. If any of you heard about the plane crash on the news... that was my father's plane. He passed away on his birthday. He was exactly 39 years old. The pilot was flying too low and hit a tree. The FUCKING SON OF A BITCH didn't file a flight plan so my father's body was hanging in the plane upside down all night until the investigator got there today at 3:30.

I never got to properly say good-bye, and it hurts like you wouldn't believe. I wish it could have been me in that plane and not my father. I would give anything in the world to spend just one day with him and be able to say good-bye. Even if at the end of that day I still had to give him up at least I would have gotten to make it the best day of our lives and say good-bye.

It's just not fair. I hope that none of you ever have to endure the pain that I'm going through and will be going through. I hope that you all learn through my pain to cherish every moment you have with someone, to never take anything for granted, and to never be afraid to tell some one how you feel. Don't ever hold a grudge or ruin a friendship over little things. Life is too short. My father was ONLY 39 YEARS OLD. It wasn't his time. I am ONLY 17 YEARS OLD. Why should I have to grow up with out a father? My brother is ONLY 15 YEARS OLD. Why should he have to grow up with out a father? I already lost my mother when I was 4. Why should I have to deal with this now? WHY? Why? WHY? He was the only parent I had left and he was taken from me.

I want you all to learn that even though your parents may seem like assholes at times, and may seem really mean when they say no, but its only because they love you and want to make sure that you are ok. You should never say that you hate them, or that you can't wait to leave, because once they are gone it hurts.

I feel really empty right now. I feel like I have nothing left. Like I have no reason to go on. But then I think about my dad and what he would want. And he would want me to go on, and make the best of myself as I can. He would want me to be like him, to do things to help people, to live life to the fullest, and just have fun with your loved ones, because in the end thats all that matters.

I am glad that I can say with confidence that he didn't suffer. He didn't know what hit him. One moment he was haveing a good time and the next moment........nothing. And the only other comforting thought I have is that I was able to make him proud by bringing home good grades again.

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! I WILL MISS HIM UNTIL THE DAY I DIE! He was loved by many. He made friends with just about everyone he ever came into contact with. He in some way touched everyones life that he ever met. He will truely be missed by many far and wide.

I LOVE AND MISS YOU DAD! GOD REST YOUR SOUL!

R.I.P

PETER GAYED

OCT. 31, 1965-OCT. 31, 2004

Yo

I dont really know what to say xcept that through all of this MOTHER FUCKING BULL SHIT that has been going on for the past few weeks, i am learning alot about life, and friendship, and who you can really trust. I'm not going to share my findings with you on the site bcuz frankly there are people reading this that have no buisness reading it and they dont need to know what ive learned.

I'm still going to post my life and feelings and shit thats going on bcuz this is MY xanga and its like MY personal journal. So i'm warning you now if u think i might say something bad about u, or sumthing that might offend you then stop coming to my site bcuz once i post it on here i dont give a ratz ass about how it makes you feel bcuz again this is MY xanga and it like MY personal journal. Oh and just so you know if I personaly gave you my xanga then this message doesnt refer to you and i want you to continue to come here, but since i have to make this clear to everyone, please do not go around giving my xanga out to your friends. if i want them to have it i will give itto them.

(Usually this is where i say my closing such as "Peace, Love, and Go Naked" but im not feeling any of those right now. So I have a different one to night.)

To those I love and personaly gave this xanga to "Peace, Love, and Go Naked"

To those that I do not love and did not Personaly give this xanga to, "PISS OFF!!" 

-Kevin-